(in)decisions, (in)decisions

I staggered up to the bar last Friday night for the final round, and when bumped my well liquored belly into the bar I came to a crossroads in life--what to order.  I couldn't decide.  I had a bevy of liquid happiness at my fingertips and I couldn't just pick one.  I ran through the list of beverages in my head and each one sound indifferently similar to the next.

"Surprise me," I blurted out over the music and belching drunks.  I could have cared less if that bartender poured a shot of grain alcohol, lit it on fire, and handed me a straw.  I was just simply indifferent--I couldn't decide.

I spent a lot of time trying to identify the "right" drink like one might try and find the "right" person; I feel like this is an effort to make the "right" decision.

I was puzzled by this episode for awhile, usually I don't have a problem picking movies, or foods, or places to go.  So why couldn't I just order the damn drink?  It was like my brain was in a knot and I was a nail-biter without the necessary equipment to pick this thing apart.  So like any logical thinker might do, I took a step back and examined decisions from arms length, so this issue couldn't play hard to get.

So many times in life we are faced with decisions: when we were young these decisions were clear-cut, they were right or wrong; now though, I am doubting whether right and wrong decision exist later in life; now I am coming to find out that there are just decisions--we make them and handle them according to the outcome.

But is it just me? I am a self-pitying indecisive hypocrite?  Is this post just a display of my inability to make a decision despite the thoughtful consideration?

Is it real?  Is indecision as contagious as yawning? Isn't this a real problem?  Some one else out there has to have some mental anguish about being stuck at a crossroads, right?

Is it all in my head?  Was that last drink one too many?  Is my mind clouded because of my behavior?  Or is my mind smudging my behavior together so that I can't even determine which foot to step with first: right or left.  Am I wandering around in the parts of my mind that are uninhabited by thoughts?  Is this topic really what I wanted to write about (pun intended)?

Still trying to pick these knots apart...